Jumping Puddles Jen

tonic Tuesday: what are you craving?

2012-02-09T18:03:00.001-06:00

I started tonic Tuesdays forgetting that Tuesday is our homeschool co-op day. Thus, the late post.

The question is, What's Really Going on Here?

                             What are you really craving?

What is craving? It is something you long for, that you really want, you might even beg for it!

We were made to crave!
                                       Crave what?

The Lord!
              He created us to be His friend, to spend time with Him, to go to Him with our struggles.

Do you? Do you pray about your food choices? I'm not talking about the 'thank you God for my food, please bless it' prayer. I'm talking about inviting Him to oversee what you eat...to be mindful of the nudging of the Holy Spirit when He draws you away from the food your emotions...hormones...frustrations...joys crave.

The success of my journey is dependant on joining together with the God who created me and walking with Him in my food (health!) choices. I do crave Him and I want to HONOR HIM in my eating. It might sound silly, but food is such a struggle for me...my cravings are often a symptom of something bigger ~ deeper. God really is the only one thing that can fill that craving.

So, what are YOU really craving?

word Wednesday: prayer for Faithful Husband

2012-02-01T09:09:00.002-06:00

Faithful Husband

Bless all his skills, Lord, and be pleased with the work of his hands. Strike down those who rise against him, his foes till they rise no more. Deuteronomy 33:11

Amen.

tonic Tuesday: "want to"

2012-01-31T09:18:00.001-06:00

Tonic: anything invigorating physically, mentally, or morally. Something that lifts the spirits or makes somebody feel better generally.

Something new: tonic Tuesday.

This is my medicine.

I am currently reading Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. It is a wonderful book, given to me by my mama, about satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food. Food has been a source of struggle for as long as I can remember. When I was in jr. high, I went in for my sports physical and I was told, "Jennifer, you have got to lose weight." I weighed 140. I was a bit chubby and I took it serious. By my freshman year in high school I weighed 128. When I became pregnant with my first baby, at 18, I still weighed 128, but that quickly changed. Baby weight piled on...and piled on. I've been obese since the beginning of my baby days, 21 years ago. My weight has ranged from 185 to 215 for most of these years. I am only 5' 4".

In my mind, I always fall back to the must-weigh-less-than-140, but it has been so far away...an impossible task.

I get sad because I'm fat. I eat. I cry because I eat. I get sad because I'm fat. I eat. I cry because I eat.

The cycle goes on and on.

I've been on one diet or another for most of my 17 year marriage to Faithful Husband. In the past year, I've been able to shed over 40 pounds, yet food is still a source of struggle. I eat in secret...can't let Faithful Husband see my unfaithfulness (yet, my body sees and shows it!). I have a few great days and then a binge day. I still cry because I eat.

I am made for more!

I don't need to find my worth in my jeans size or the numbers on the scale!

I am Jennifer Sheafer...I am "that girl" ~ the girl God created me to be. Yes, I am!

The introduction in the book, Made to Crave, is called Finding Your "Want To" and I have found it! I want my soul to be free from the bondage of food and numbers. Do you? Join me in this journey. Each week, I will post a new tonic Tuesday, working through all the chapters of this book. It is blessing me and I know it will bless you, too. May I suggest that you purchase the book for yourself? Mine is like a journal...the pages are written all over, sentences are underlined, paragraphs are in brackets. Lysa TerKeurst, thank you for sharing your journey. God, help me to share mine and find healing in my sharing.

Here is a powerful segment taken from the intro.

'I am made for more than a vicious cycle of eating, gaining, stressing ~ eating, gaining, stressing...I am made to rise up, do battle with my issues and, using the Lord's strength in me, defeat them ~ spiritually, physically, and mentally.'

It is a battle. I am in the fight. I will defeat this cycle...these issues. God bless you as you find your "want to" and join the fight.

My Bathroom ~ My Worship Center

2012-01-22T16:05:00.003-06:00

Last night while finishing up my shower, I was listening to a fabulous new CD that my sister burned for me. The title of the CD is Sunny Day Songs. It is full of music that makes me soul smile, my feet frolic, and turns my heart to truth...God's truth about me.

I prayed.

"God, help me to be the girl you created me to be."

He replied.

"You are that girl."

I am so loved by Him. I know that the simple way I live in Him is exactly right for me, for now, in this season. I will keep on keepin' on...continually being molded and created anew.

Yes. I am that girl.

Thankful.

A look back; 2011. A look ahead; 2012.

2012-01-01T22:45:00.001-06:00

My tattoo

July 4, lovin' the corn

A look back; 2011. In March I turned 39 and got an amazing camera. I learned that I love photography. In April I started the HCG diet (affordablehcgdiet.com). In May we celebrated E and his 14th birthday (14th birthdays are THE big one here). By June I had lost almost 50 pounds. Also, in June the kids spent almost two weeks in Kansas. Chris and I had an amazing time...a married couple with no one else to focus on. Crazy fun! We both got tattoos. In July, we had a blast on our deck - CABANA - and enjoyed corn-on-the-cob-on-a-stick. August brought the school year and I realized that I struggle to teach jr. high and high school. I am so thankful for co-op. Our twins turned 13 in October and I took them to the mall for a shopping spree; they also got their ears pierced. November; oldest son turned 21. How can that be?! December; last month. I learned about smashbooks and planned my goals for 2012. Life is a blessed, hard, good, amazing journey. Cheers to 2012!

A look ahead; Smashing 2012. I'm going to work on my new journal, Smashing 2012, throughout the year. I hope to journal the progress of my goals and other memorable happenings. What are my goals, you ask? Here they are: *Make blankets for niece and nephews for their birthdays. *Run four 5Ks. *Update my blogs 2x a month. *Spend more one-on-one time with my kids. *Consistently add to 1,000 Loves list. *Consistently add to 1,000 Gifts list. *Daily hubby love. *Prepare and follow through gardening tomatoes and cucumbers. *Take kids bowling. *Launch My Magpie Nest - my craft business. *Send monthly snail mail. *Attend one, organized birding event. *Grocery shop every two weeks (instead of every two days). * Reach 250 geocache. *Reach 50 munzee. *Hike Roaring River State Park. *Go to church regularly. *Float trip! *Knit John a hat. *Knit myself a shawl. *Paint the kitchen. *Keep bedroom clean. *Plant lots of flowers. *Get family pics taken. *Make wall art for living room. *Quarterly service project. *Compete in the KC Warrior Dash. *Get below 145 pounds and maintain the loss.

If you are wondering why the 'smashing' title for my journal. Check out the following blog. Maybe it will inspire you, too. Note: I made my own smash book. First daughter purchased a 'real' smash book. While I love homemade, I also love the purchased book. I'll post pics of my Smashing 2012 throughout the year. If you smash one, too, please share your pics. :) I'd love to see them.

http://www.smashstoriesblog.com/

Consistently Inconsistent

2011-09-01T18:30:00.001-05:00

Well, I haven't been on here for such a long time. I'm really not a blogger, I guess...ugh.

I love magazines. My mom brings me stacks of them and I am a sucker for a new one when I am in the checkout line at the store. I will go through the magazines and tear out all kinds of articles...decorating ideas, parenting tips, recipes, and brilliant ideas. I destroy the magazine! I have a three-ring binder full of these great ideas that one day I'll get to. Well, there is something new; something exciting, fun, addicting. Check it out at

www.pinterest.com/jsheafer/pins

Yes, I am obsessed with pinning. It is my new 'tear-up-the-magazine' way of finding and saving great ideas! Try it out. I'm sure you'll love it, too.

Simply Covered

2011-03-12T08:50:00.001-06:00

I grew up in the church. I was surrounded by family and friends who accepted Him, who loved Him, and who believed in His love for them.

I didn't get it.

I believed in Him, loved Him, and believed in His love for me...with conditions (be nice, read your bible enough, pray enough, etc.). I think so human. I forget that His ways aren't like mine. He doesn't think like I do. He is Jesus.

After so many years of self-condemnation; condemnation that I let myself believe was from Him, I finally get it. Well, I at least get part of the puzzle. (and for the many parts that I still struggle to understand, I trust Him to reveal them to me when, and if, it is necessary...until then, I simply trust Him.)

Jesus died for me. His blood covers me.

I am righteous because of the blood of Jesus.

I am imperfect, impatient, and sometimes I wallow in the muck.

And then I stand up. I remember who I am. I shut up the condemnation and I talk to God and love Jesus for his covering. I fall in love with Him more every single day. I desire a closer relationship with Him and not because I have to, but because of the great gift of my rightousness.

I believe in Him, love Him, and believe in His love for me. Simple.

Grace for Self

2011-02-03T14:07:00.001-06:00

I love to listen to K-Love Christian Radio, 90.7 in Neosho, MO. Early in January, I heard Dr. Meier talking about loving self. Mark 12:31 tells me to ' love God with all that I am and love my neighbor as myself' - there is no commandment greater than these (paraphrase). How easy it is to love God, it is usually pretty easy to love those around me, but oh the struggle of loving self.

We all make mistakes. We are all imperfect.

Most of the time, I am quick to offer grace to those around me when they mess up; when they live imperfectly.

Most of the time, I am quick to offer condemnation to self when I mess up; when I live imperfectly.

How is your relationship with self?

I am determined to love me. I am worth the same grace and mercy I offer to others; the grace and mercy offered to me by God.

You are worth it, too.

Quiet Life & Busy Hands

2011-01-29T08:43:00.001-06:00

For years I have watched my girls crochet and knit. My 13 year old son has crocheted hats and bags. My 15 year old used to fingerweave scarves. My great-grandma made the best crocheted slippers. My mom crocheted quite often as I was growing up, too. All the while, I would sit and watch. It wasn't for me.

Then I met Kate. She is, in my opinion, the Knitting Queen. She can knit anything! She is a fellow homeschool mom and at co-op each week, she chats and knits...at the same time! ;) I was inspired.

She taught me how to make a dishcloth, of which I made four, or rather, three and a half. Now I am working on a scarf. It is actually a simple pattern, knit two/purl two, that I learned on Ravelry.com. So simple, but I am so excited about these amazing rows coming off of my needles!

1 Thessalonians tells me to lead a quiet life and to work with my hands. I can do this. Yes, I can.

I'll keep you posted on future projects. I hope there will be many.

Blessed Stuff

2011-01-26T18:09:00.005-06:00

Do you ever experience the loss of breath in your throat, like the beginning of a sob? You know, that feeling you get when pride wells up in you for your children and you catch your breath and stifle emotion....or when your spouse takes your breath away...?

Well, a few days ago I looked around me and I felt that same loss of breath over my 'stuff'.

Truth: I'm struggling with want for new stuff. I want new lamps, new pillows, new paint on the walls, a new van, etc. YET, I am amazed at what I own, as little as it is. For the most part, my home doesn't really reflect me...I feel in limbo waiting for my forever home. But there are little places in my home that do reflect me; places that have character, history, and a bit of whimsy.

These areas of my home hold the 'stuff' that took my breath away. Crazy, isn't it? No, not really. I think God is so good at taking me out of my pity parties...He reminded me of this stuff, the history of some of the pieces, and my heart was glad. Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17. Oh, my blessed stuff.

It's Multitude Monday!

2011-01-25T09:33:00.003-06:00

This morning I woke up with thankfulness in my heart. That is a wonderful way to start the day. I heard the alarm at 7am and faithful husband got up...I didn't. At 7:45 he was rushing around to leave for work and I realized, 'Wow, he does this everyday!' Isn't that amazing? No matter the weather, no matter the mood, he goes to work around the same time everyday. I am so thankful for him and his determination to take care of his family.

As I was going through my morning, still in awe of the goodness of my day, I was reminded that my favorite book in the bible is Colossians. I sat the kids down and read to them the first chapter. Good stuff. I am thankful for the Word of God that is in my heart and in my hand...for the freedom I have to open it whenever I want.

Reading Colossians reminded me of Psalm 18. Last week a sweet friend encouraged her facebook friends to read from that chapter, beginning with verse 16. Amazing. God rewards me according to my righteousness! It isn't about my perfection...but my righteousness. I am thankful! I am free to be the girl He created me to be, and to know that I am loved...all the time.

So, I'm going to my 1,000 Gifts page to add these. I challenge you today; look around you. What are you thankful for?

So much food...so little time.

2011-01-12T16:39:00.003-06:00

I finally did something I've been wanting to do. I went shopping (got some great deals) for groceries and, after we put it away, spent a couple of hours (so little time) to make some great meals (so much food). With the help of my amazing kiddos, we filled the freezer and have dinner ready for days to come.

Here is the list of what we made and have in the freezer:

1 gallon of 5-can bean soup

1.25 pounds of browned ground beef

2 meatloaves

2 turkey cornbread casseroles

8 hamburger patties

8 bacon wrapped stuffed chicken breasts

2 gallons of hamburger soup

80 meatballs

In addition to the above, we made chili for tonight and some seasoned oyster crackers. I made suet/bark butter for the birds and filled their log, too.

It has been a great day...the kids enjoyed it as much as I did. What a blessing to have a freezer full of such bounty.

If you are interested in of these recipes, message me. I like to share.

Multitude Monday - 1,000 Gifts continued

2011-01-10T16:21:00.005-06:00

I'm headed to my 1,000 Gifts list. Here are some things I'll be adding: snow covered hill, sleds, Mr. Cardinal sitting in the evergreen tree, Uncle and Auntie...home from Africa, the quiet beauty of a snowy day...what else will I add? You better click over to my list page and see. :) What are some things on your list? What are the gifts in your life...the things you are thankful for? I'd love for you to share some with me.

Uncle Denny and Aunt Marie - we're so happy that they are in America.

I'm a Caterer

2011-01-07T08:30:00.004-06:00

Faithful husband and I were chatting a few days ago and I said something that later came back to me in a strange way.

"I won't cater to an alcoholic."

That's a good thing, right? I'm not going to go out of my way to make sure an alcoholic has what they think they need or what they want.

Later, as I was driving my van I realized...'but, I'll cater to a glutton!'

I'll go to the store and purchase all kinds of great food and follow whatever recipes are necessary for a feast. Sometimes I am sure a vomitorium would be a great thing...then we could just keep on eating that fabulous food. OK, I know that a vomitorium wasn't really for the purpose of vomiting, but you get my point.

Reality, gluttony is the act of eating and/or drinking immoderately.

As a society, we look down on alcoholics, but to the gluttons we lift our glasses and say, "Cheers!"

Both are a lack of self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit, and both lead the body into slavery and misery. I want a life of freedom! I don't want a life controlled by fleshly desires.

I was, in my heart, being judgemental when I said that I wouldn't cater to an alcoholic (a glutton). I'm thankful that God let me see that, in reality, I do.

Our Favorite Pancakes

2010-12-29T21:11:00.007-06:00

"Mom, can we have pancakes for breakfast?" I hear this question often.

We love pancakes. Sometimes, I make them small and use them for dipping into hot syrup combined with melted butter. Faithful husband and some of the kiddos enjoy them stacked with butter, while others want them smothered with peanut butter. The very best pancake is one that is sprinkled with coconut and pecans before flipping to cook the second side. YUM! I also like them with a shmear of peanut butter and topped with sliced bananas. The possiblities are endless.

Quick and Easy Pancakes

Ingredients:

2 cups flour
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup baking powder
2 t. salt
2 eggs, beaten
2 cups milk
1/4 cup applesauce

In a large bowl, mix flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Make a well in the center and pour in the milk, egg, and applesauce. Mix until smooth. Heat a lightly oiled griddle over medium-high heat. Scoop approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake, brown on both sides, and serve hot. Enjoy!

Sweet nephew typically likes peanut butter, but today requested butter.

1,000 Gifts

2010-12-28T09:54:00.004-06:00

Go to my 1,000 gifts page to see what has been added. What gifts are you thankful for today?

Word Wednesday - What can you do...What can you give?

2010-12-22T13:22:00.006-06:00

Come, they told me, there's a new born King!

We're taking our finest gifts to honor Him.

Little baby, I'm a poor boy, too

I have no gift to bring, that's fit to give our King.

Shall I play for you, on my drum?

I played my drum, I played my best.

He smiled at me.

The Little Drummer Boy is my most favorite song of the Christmas season. The little boy didn't have much to give and yet in his giving, what a blessing he received. The King, Jesus, accepted His gift...and He smiled.

This Christmas season, what can you do for, or give to, Him? This is not to create a checklist that becomes a burden...just a couple of things that you choose to be intentional about.

This year I am giving Him my smile and my wallet.

Proverbs 15 says that a glad heart makes a cheerful face and I think the reverse is true, too. A smile can brighten the heart that is heavy, sad, tired, etc. I want to be that smile for Faithful Husband and our children.

My money...well, it really isn't mine. All that I have is a gift from God...it first belongs to Him and He blesses the work of Faithful Husband with paychecks. A Proverbs 31 woman, according to verse 11, can be trusted by her husband. Proverbs 14 says that a wise woman builds her home, but a foolish one tears it down. I struggle to keep my budget and sometimes the stress it causes Faithful Husband makes me so sad. I want to be trustworthy in our finances and build my house with my wallet.

I think I might even wrap these and set the package on my desk. It will serve to remind me, all year, of my gifts....gifts that The King will honor and gifts that will bless my family. In the end, I will be the one blessed above all, and isn't that how giving works?

What can we learn from George Washington Carver?

2010-12-21T12:28:00.005-06:00

He taught his students the following:

* Be clean, both inside and out.

* Neither look up to the rich nor down to the poor.

* Lose, if need be, without squealing.

* Win without bragging.

* Always be considerate of women, children, and older people.

* Be too brave to lie.

* Be too generous to cheat.

* Take your share of the world and let others take theirs.

Quotes:

"Our creator is the same and never changes, despite the names given Him by people here and in all parts of the world. Even if we gave Him no name at all, He would still be there, within us, waiting to give us good on this earth."

"Reading about nature is fine, but if a person walks in the woods and listens carefully, he can learn more than what is in books, for they speak with the voice of God."

"We get closer to God as we get more intimately and understandably acquainted with the things He has created. I know of nothing more inspiring that that of making discoveries for one's self."

A Blessed Wife

2010-12-19T13:49:00.005-06:00

Since my last post, a long time ago, I have fallen in love with my husband again...and again, and again. He is the reason for my 1,000 Loves Journal. He is the tingle up my back. He is the smile that I wear as I fall asleep. When I am sad, he loves me through it and makes me feel glad. When I giggle, he grins. He loves me! Yes, I am amazed...and I am so very blessed.

"A successful marriage required falling in love many times, and always with the same person." ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Word Wednesday - My Refuge

2010-07-07T19:46:00.003-05:00

I don't often post dreary, woe-is-me updates on facebook...yesterday I did.

'Jennifer Sheafer feels like some battles just can't be won.'

Life is hard. I often forget that the Lord is near to me. He holds me, He protects me, He goes before me... I am safe in Him. Yesterday, had I gone to Him, He would have heard me... my heart would have found peace.

Yesterday is over. Today is new. In stress/distress, in life challenges... I will choose to cry to the Lord for help. He does hear me. He is my safe place, my refuge.

Psalm 18 says:

1I love you, O LORD, my strength.

2The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.
4 The cords of death encompassed me;
the torrents of destruction assailed me;
5 the cords of Sheol entangled me;
the snares of death confronted me.

6 In my distress I called upon the LORD;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.

Fervor Friday - Saint

2010-07-02T13:14:00.004-05:00

"A little child on a summer morning stood in a great Cathedral Church. The sunlight shined through the beautiful stained glass windows and the figures in them of the servants of God were bright with brilliant color. A little later the question was asked, 'What is a saint?' and the child replied, A saint is a person who lets the light shine through.'"

~Anon. taken from Leaves of Gold

Word Wednesday - Prayer

2010-06-29T23:31:00.005-05:00

The Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:26-28

Ahhhhh, so grateful for the Spirit. When I don't know for what to pray, He teaches me. He silences my fears and helps me to overcome discouragements. When I can't pray, He does.

This morning I had such a great prayer time. It was so spontaneous and beautiful. I was filled with hope and joy in my intercession for others. God was truly with me and He knew just what I was to pray for. He used me for something great, and blessed me, when I wasn't expecting it. That is grace, isn't it?

God is full of grace for you and your prayer life. Jump in. Say "hey" to Him and see what happens.

If you need prayer, let me know. I will put you on sticky notes throughout my house so that I will remember to pray.

1,000 Gifts

2010-06-28T09:15:00.005-05:00

I decided that I want all of my 1,000 gifts in one list. You can read my list on the 1,000 Gifts page of this blog. Today I added numbers 157 - 180.

I've been a bit obsessed with my blogs the past few days. I really enjoy letting the world, or the few that decide to read, know about my life. So check out my personal website, my nature blog, and scroll down this page to my links...check them out. God's Pharmacy is AMAZING...definitely worth a visit.

Have a great day...a great week!

50 First Children

2010-06-27T10:26:00.006-05:00

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. ~John Wilmot

Isn't that the truth!?!? I really thought I knew it all about how to raise children. After 19 years of parenting, raising one teenager, and enjoying the midst of two more teenagers and three tweens... I realize, I KNOW NOTHING! Each child is different and each stage is different, boys are different from girls, and so...as each one of my kiddos enters a new phase of life, I feel like I am starting all over again. 50 First Children (instead of 50 First Dates) would make for an interesting movie!

My children are full of life. They make me laugh like no one else. They love me all the time. They can put me in my place...respectfully, and it is a great life lesson everytime it happens. The sound of many children is better than silence...most of the time.

Fervor Friday - Sunshiny

2010-06-25T06:15:00.007-05:00

Fervor Friday is a day to share a poem, prose, phrase, or quote. I love old poetry books and I am currently reading through three! The following is taken from Leaves of Gold, An Anthology of Prayers, Memorable Phrases, Inspirational Verse & Prose, Edited by Clyde Francis Lytle (copyright 1948)

I dedicate this to my friend, Rhonda Ledbetter, who tells me, I need a bit of her sunshine when I am having a bad day.

Sunshiny - Have you ever had your day suddenly turn sunshiny because of a cheerful word? Have you ever wondered if this could be the same world, because someone had been unexpectedly kind to you? You can make today the same for somebody. It is only a question of a little imagination, a little time and trouble. Think now, "What can I do today to make someone happy?" --- old persons, children, servants ~ even a bone for the dog, or sugar for the bird! Why not?

~ Babcock

Just Be

2010-06-24T16:29:00.004-05:00

The following is taken from my 2008 journal:

Jen, learn to love and accept YOU, and your relationships will grow. Don't focus on your negatives, but on your positives. When you focus on the negative, life follows. Don't try to DO for the Lord. He loves and accepts you NOW, today, no matter what you DO or DON'T DO --- Just BE with Him.

Word Wednesday - Love Your Neighbor

2010-06-23T10:24:00.005-05:00

Word Wednesday! It is my goal to share something that God is teaching me, through His Word, each Wednesday. I would like your feedback. Hearing from you helps me to grow and see the world from a new and different perspective. Growing is sometimes painful, but so worth it!

We have lived in our little southwest Missouri town for almost seven months. In this short time, we have been mistreated by one of our neighbors multiple times. I have cried and I have felt unsafe. I have prayed for faithful husband, as adreniline and anxiety raced through him, as he struggled with Mr. and Mrs. Difficult Neighbor. We have learned that these particular neighbors have caused trouble for many others as well. It is sad...sad that their life story has led them to such bitterness. It seems that they are so miserable, that they want to share their misery with those around them.

No one in the neighborhood likes Mr. and Mrs. Difficult Neighbor. I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to be different.

Multiple times, in God's Word, I read to love my neighbor as myself. (Leviticus, Matthew, Luke, Romans, Galatians, James)

I long to dwell with the Lord and He wants me to be kind, not do evil, to my neighbor. (Psalm 15)

According to Romans 13, the only thing I am to owe anyone...is love.

My reaction...my response...is to love them. It isn't about who they are or how they act.

We may never have a relationship with Mr. and Mrs. Difficult Neighbor. Maybe we will. Only God knows what is in store. What I do know, is that I will pray for them, I will smile at them, and as God leads me... I will do random acts of kindness. Their issues aren't really with the Sheafer family anyway...their issues are much deeper and only God can heal them. He might choose to use us in that process and that would be an honor.

Do you have a difficult neighbor? Maybe your neighbor doesn't even live on your street or in your town, but they are difficult still. I challenge you to pray for them. Let me know how it goes.

1,000 Gifts continued

2010-06-21T14:29:00.007-05:00

123. mistakes turned into blessings
124. continued learning and growth
125. difficult times that give me opportunity to grow
126. limitations that give me opportunity to improve
127. challenges that build strength and character
128. old poetry books that remind me of truth
129. faithful husband's way of discerning my feelings and caring for them
130. HCM, BT, TAs, YKT
131. goodnight kisses from faithful husband
132. goodnight hugs from children
133. hello hug from oldest child
134. pink, fluffy robe
135. giddiness over faithful husband...after 15 years of marriage
136. lyrics that move my heart
137. music that moves my feet
138. my laptop
139. naptime
140. a shower to refresh during the summer heat
141. creativity
142. bookshelves full of great books
143. guest bedroom, open basement, willing friends and oldest son, THANK YOU!
144. blinds to keep my home cool from the heat of the sun's rays
145. borrowed car, THANK YOU!
146. elastic hair bands
147. date night adventures with faithful husband
148. God's faithfulness in the midst of my faithlessness
149. styrofoam cups
150. disc golf t-shirts...FREE for me!
151. swimming holes
152. memorable quotes from goofy movies
153. hand-me-downs
154. Garmina leading me where I need to go, she is so helpful
155. water to drink
156. cloudy skies before a storm

Joy in Judgement

2010-06-15T11:13:00.005-05:00

Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Therefore whoever resists authority (and doesn't wear a seatbelt) has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will incur judgement (receives a ticket) upon themselves. Romans 13: 1 & 2 with Jen Paraphrase

Hmmmmm. Resist authority = judgement, thus Jen rejoices and shares joy!!!

1,000 Gifts

2010-06-14T08:20:00.016-05:00

101. books
102. freshly brushed teeth
103. Mr. House Wren singing to me
104. peach-raspberry sun tea
105. sun tea jars
106. old jars
107. fresh berries, hand-picked
108. sunflowers
109. happy facebook posts of oldest child
110. family photos
111. big trees
112. paid bills
113. Birds of Missouri field guide
114. garage sales
115. smiles of young disc golfer
116. sharing heart of young disc golfer
117. "Mornin' babe" says Faithful Husband
118. willing, generous heart of littles
119. amazing love of middle man
120. today
121. 'counting fish - the net didn't break'
122. memories

Berry Shortcake

2010-06-13T21:15:00.002-05:00

Deck Contentment

2010-06-12T13:16:00.019-05:00

Welcome to my deck. Please, come and have a sit with me. We can chat, we can sip, we can laugh, we can watch the birds, we can listen. Old things, new blooms, song birds, puffy clouds...a gift. My deck is joy to me, a reminder of the love that is abundant for me, and a place where contentment is easy.

more 1,000 Gifts

2010-06-08T07:38:00.005-05:00

81. grassy hill
82. willing helpers
83. morning runs with Faithful Husband
84. generous, kind-hearted mama
85. lima bean plants grown by curious kiddos
86. patience of Faithful Husband
87. visits from Olathe friends
88. Starbucks chit-chat
89. girlfriend hugs
90. nephew with a mohawk
91. all nephews
92. sweet niece
93. love of my siblings
94. heart talks, even the hard ones
95. school curriculum
96. the sound of moving water
97. mornings...new days
98. "What's up babe?" says Faithful Husband
99. chocolate
100. Bubba the parakeet's singing

Fruity

2010-06-06T09:47:00.007-05:00

I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. John 15:5

A precious young lady read this verse last night. I immediately questioned myself, "What fruit do I produce?"

I grew up in an environment that taught me about the laws, the rules, of being a Christian...of what a Christian looks like. In recent years, I have learned that Christians, those who love God and accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior, look very different one from another.

God doesn't have expectations of me, He has expectancy for me. He loves me, even when the fruit I produce looks more like a tomato than an apple.

There are many fruits in the produce section that we don't consider a fruit. An olive is a fruit! Sometimes the fruit we, as Christians, produce is more savory than sweet. It is still a fruit.

"An ugly fruit is sweet and unique, but at first glance tells you nothing about what is in store." Fruit...ugly...still a fruit.

As I pondered the fruit I produce in my life, I realized that much of it is uncommon and may not be considered 'fruit' by those looking in. I'm so glad that God sees my heart and that my life is, indeed, fruity.

1,000 Gifts (continued)

2010-06-03T16:49:00.004-05:00

71. van windows down and breeze blowing my hair
72. .49 ice cream cones at McDonalds
73. skype
74. Greenleaf Music & Arts Academy
75. Faithful Husband giggles
76. vibram five fingers
77. the smell of freshly baled straw
78. fresh laundry air filling the house and pouring out the vent to the backyard
79. tadpoles
80. antiques

Four

2010-06-02T08:18:00.001-05:00

Is there room to grow deeper in love with your spouse? I am grateful for the encouragement I receive from aholyexperience. From her, I am learning to love in a fresh, new way...in a way that my husband is worthy of.

'It only takes four minutes a day to move into a deeper heart place...to connect in soul intimacy; to breathe in oxygen for the other half of my heart. Don't, and I begin to suffocate, the death heave. I wish someone had told me in the beginning.

FOUR FIXATIONS
Four times a day, think on love. When I leave the marriage bed, leave the front door, when I return to the front door, and when I return to the marriage bed. These times are critical. Touch or whisper a sweet something when passing through these gateways and we walk into hours of closeness. Forever love fixates like fresh love.

FOUR EMBRACES
Four times a day, wrap up in husband. Embrace fully and hold each other's eyes. That's all. Repeat four times daily. The one flesh breathes best when skin pores are close; connected.

FOUR AFFIRMATIONS
Four times during the day, thank him...for working faithfully to provide, for the things he does for you, for making the heart skip a beat. Look for ways to thank him! '

I recently started a 1,000 Loves journal. This journal is simply that: 1,000 things I am thankful for...that I love about my man. Sometimes life gets chaotic and I begin to focus on untruths and I forget all the amazing, wonderful things about him. This morning when I woke up, ready for my morning cup of coffee, I had a new 'love' for my journal. I am thankful that he wakes up early and makes coffee...what a blessed girl I am to wake up to that aroma and a ready cup.

Four Fixations... Four Embraces... Four Affirmations... what an adventure!

What about you? What 'loves' are there in your heart today, regarding your man?

1,000 Gifts

2010-06-01T18:15:00.001-05:00

Reading A Holy Experience is changing me. Today I begin my list of blessings...those many things I am thankful for and that I want to capture in my heart instead of take for granted.

1. grace sufficient
2. daily, new mercies
3. sunshine
4. singing birds
5. air conditioning
6. green trees
7. faithful husband, aka my best friend
8. adoring children, even when I don't deserve it
9. freezer full of meat for my meat loving family
10. forever friends
11. wisdom from my mama
12. hazelnut creamer
13. great coffee mugs
14. early mornings at the YMCA with faithful husband
15. late nights on the deck with faithful husband
16. walks in the creek
17. growth, wisdom, and playfulness of oldest child
18. homemade curtains
19. bird feeders
20. slinky
21. farmer's market
22. 1,000 Loves Journal
23. cool breeze
24. butterflies
25. freedom
26. dancing
27. full moon
28. strawberry and lemon water
29. giggles
30. the tears of a tender heart
31. balance
32. remembering
33. no more Margo
34. SheaCrew kiddos cuddled in blankets with books
35. Garmina taking me on a geocache adventure
36. bridges
37. old barns
38. oxeye daisy
39. narrations
40. little children quotes (canoodle, alligator juice...)
41. end of day closure
42. new windows
43. hummingbird feeder
44. enamel dishes
45. ears that hear
46. bathtub
47. hugs
48. faithful husband wisdom, even when it is hard to hear
49. hand-me-down sofa from Fischy family
50. Ozarks
51. running
52. candles
53. fresh sheets
54. fire-pit, s'mores, roasted hot dogs
55. fire-pit, hot cocoa, scarves, blankets
56. jeans and hoodies
57. disc golf = hope
58. inspiring and motivating music
59. date night
60. visits from family and friends
61. lessons learned
62. progress, not perfection
63. hellos from heaven
64. wet-erase markers and my fridge
65. seasons; weather and life
66. my nephew given name; Aunt Jenny
67. smiles between SheaCrew kiddos
68. long walks around town
69. deck furniture...my deck!
70. relationship, not religion

Look Deeply

2010-05-06T18:30:00.001-05:00

Today was a wonderful day. Chris and I took the kids to the the creek to play. The temp. was around 90 and they were ready to 'swim' and play. I took my chair, my water bottle, and my book. I am reading The Foxfire Book and really enjoying it. "this is the way I was raised up" is the name of the first chapter. One of the quotes brought so much emotion to my heart... I cried sitting right there in my chair in Hickory Creek. Here is the quote: '"seames as every body was happie to."

Late 1800's, work was hard and life required steady, hard work from everyone. They were "happie."

As I sat there pondering this, I watched my kids down the creek. They were laughing, working together, living a simple-together, old-fashioned fun day.

I cried some more. My kids 'require' computers, facebook, video games, Disney Channel, air conditioning, and much attention... then they are happy. UNTIL we get away from all of those things...when we do, they discover REAL happiness.

I believe that Neosho is taking me back to "this is the way I was raised up" and I'm so glad we are here. Life is slower, demands are less, and I LIKE to be an old-fashioned girl. I want to make my own soap, grow my own food, and live a simple-together, old-fashioned life. Balance is key. I do live in 2010, but 2010 isn't going to consume me or my children. I want to 'look deeply' at my life and really live it.

Hey, I might even dress my own hog and build a log cabin! Just kidding, but if you read the book...you'll learn all the details of both.

Happy Living!

Gifts aka God's Love

2010-04-13T10:29:00.003-05:00

I have often teased my husband regarding the gifts that God gives him. Chris will have a thought about something he would like to have and before you know it... someone is giving him the very thing he thought about.

He has been given a truck after thinking how nice it would be to have one. No prayer. No request. A thought.

He was given new tackle boxes after mentioning to me that he'd like a new one. A neighbor walked over and asked Chris if he would like to have them.

The bible says that every good and perfect gift is from above. The truck, the tackle boxes, and all of the many other gifts Chris has received were good and perfect... God loving on him.

Chris has always said to me, "Jen, don't you know that God wants to be a part of all things in your life... even the small things?" God does care about our wants...even if we never pray about them. He does give us the desires of our heart.

Like Chris, I have thoughts about things I want. Like Chris, God often gives me those things. I know I am loved all the time, yet when I recieve a gift I am reminded of how much He loves me.

This past weekend was the Neosho city-wide garage sale weekend. I told my sister, Aime, that the main thing I was hoping to purchase was lawn type furniture for my deck. That very evening Chris came home and let me know that our neighbors were purchasing new furniture for their porch and giving us their old stuff!!! I was so happy I jumped around like a little girl. God loves me so much...this was indeed a good and perfect gift from above.

The next afternoon I was having a moment of missing my Willow house, in Olathe, where I had two large lilac bushes that I loved. As I was standing in my yard pondering the lilacs, the same neighbors that gave us the furniture walked over and Terry, the wife, had a large bouquet of lilacs for me. Can you believe it!?!?!?

I am a well-loved girl. Who else, but God, loves us so perfectly?

I am worth it!

2010-02-12T05:06:00.002-06:00

My oldest son, and author of shiningthroughmyownskin.blogspot, posted a message on his blog that made me think about how well I love others compared to how I love me.

I rejoice with others, I mourn with others. I speak truth and I have grace that covers imperfections. I do my best to live with 'no judgment and no condemnation.'

...and then there is me...

I condemn myself for each character flaw and imperfection. I know truth in my heart and yet... that truth is somehow skewed regarding me. I judge, condemn, and choose not to rejoice, mourn, or give grace and mercy to ME.

Yet, to others I say, "Process over perfection."

It is the process I am in. It is the process I am working through. Perfection isn't necessary or even wanted. It is a reality of heaven...not the here and now.

I am worthy of the same grace I give others... and the grace given to me by the Ultimate Grace Giver. Today, I choose to love me; to smile at myself and love being in the process.

Really Living

2009-04-19T23:58:00.002-05:00

Today I choose to relax and live loved.

Joy

2009-04-14T05:09:00.002-05:00

A few days ago, Chris and I went for a motorcycle ride. The weather was nice, the trees were beautiful; spring is wonderful. We went to Shawnee Mission Lake where the dogs get to run free and play in the lake. It was such fun watching the dozens and dozens of dogs.

I couldn't stop smiling! What is up with that? There are things going on in life that hurt, that make me angry. Money...ugh! Yet, on the flip side, the simplest things; a motorcycle ride, the green trees, happy dogs...they filled me with joy.

I realized that day that as quickly as I get frustrated or sad, I can get encouraged and glad!

Joy is simple. Joy is healing.

What is making you smile today?

What did make you smile today?

You

2009-01-31T14:11:00.001-06:00

What if you could see yourself
through another pair of eyes?
And what if you could hear the truth,
instead of old familiar lies?
Big Daddy Weave

What truth do you need to hear today? What truth can YOU tell YOURSELF today?

Go to the mirror. Look at your reflection. Repeat these words:

You are important.
You are valuable.
You are the best!
You are beautiful.

Smile at yourself. You are worth it! Replace the self-condemnation, old familiar lies, with positive and encouraging truth.

Now...go to the mirror!

Smile!

2009-01-19T10:10:00.001-06:00

I dare you to smile at everyone you come in contact with today. I would love to hear the reactions you get from your smiles.

Celebrate

2009-01-14T12:00:00.001-06:00

Hello. Life is moving right along. My Life Notebook isn't a life saver. It is a tool...a great tool! I have to choose to use it. The past few days have been difficult as far as keeping up on the schedule. Chris has been home and that throws me off my groove a bit. I love being with him and I am not complaining...it is just different when he has my attention. Today he is working on a small job so we will do our best to get things done this morning. I pray that God will bless me, and all of us who are organizing life, and my efforts. Amen!

Yesterday my first nephew, Caden, turned three. Wow...when I say life is moving right along it really is. Caden and his mama, Jaime, lived with us for the first 2 years of his life. He is very special. Birthdays are a big deal to me and it is my heart to really celebrate the life of my loved ones.

Today, Chris and I are going to pick Caden up and take him out for ice cream.

Today, Chris and I are setting a little bit of time aside to let Caden know he is a blessing and that we celebrate him.

Life, it is worth celebrating. How can you celebrate today?

A New Year... A New Me...the process continues

2009-01-03T13:28:00.001-06:00

It is 2009! One year ago I was pondering the difficult year I had just gone through. Today I am pondering all that I actually accomplished in 2008.

I attended, and completed, BreakThrough. I began attending a women's group. I read a lot of books...two of them were life changing; The Shack and So You Don't Want to go to Church Anymore. I completed my Life Notebook.

While these things may seem minimal, they are HUGE.

BT began a process of growth and change that is amazing. The women's group is a continuation of that process. The Shack reminded me of the love of Papa God and led me to really know I am accepted by Him. So You Don't Want to go to Church Anymore challenged my thinking about church, about community, and the body of Christ. Both of these books are fiction and they both led me to powerful truths. Completing my Life Notebook has been in the making for over a year. Completing it is a big deal!!

It sounds like 2008 was all about me. Well, maybe it was. I'm worth it.

Reality... the more I do for ME the better I am for my family and the closer our relationships are. Chris and I are growing together and I am learning to be a better Mom. Life is exciting!

2009 is going to be great. I can feel it.

Each day I live, I want to be a day to give the best of me
~ from One Moment in Time by Whitney Houston

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T08:48:00.001-06:00

Today is Christmas Eve and I am finally feeling excited about Christmas. The ground is covered with a fresh blanket of snow and the sun is shining. What a blessed day. I am celebrating Jesus Christ. How wonderful of a gift. He walked as I do, he was tempted as I am, he overcame... I try. :) I am perfectly imperfect and HE is so very fond of ME! Again, how wonderful a gift.

This year the gifts beneath my tree are scarce, but the gifts of love and life are plentiful. I am among the richest and most blessed!

Merry Christmas to you. I hope that you find joy in this season and that your heart is full.

Grace and Peace!

It's been so long

2008-12-06T06:18:00.002-06:00

since I've been able to access my blog. My computer has been difficult for months. What has been going on these past two months?

October: Chris and I celebrated our 14th anniversary. Grace and Hannah turned 10. Aime and Nick's baby girl, Clara, entered the world on October 3. I took a road trip to South Dakota. I was diagnosed with a hormone imbalance, sluggish thyroid, and poor digestion. Dr. Khosh put me on some helpful meds.

November: Trevor turned 18! Wow. A friend of ours had a baby boy. Erin delivered Isaiah on Nov. 21. She is a single mom and I was blessed to coach her during labor and delivery. It was pretty amazing!

Now here we are. December already! 2008 is almost over. Have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS. Make the most of this month. What memories do you want to make?

(Doesn't the title of this post remind you of a movie? Think Parent Trap... Mitch, it's been so long, so very long.) HA

Journaling Heart

2008-09-15T09:34:00.001-05:00

A friend recently made a comment that has me pondering.

"Kids are using facebook to share with the world the things they should be journaling to God."

It is so easy to type out a 'note' or to update our facebook 'status' with exactly what we are feeling... sharing with all who read. I wonder, are the notes and the status updates and the wall posts things that are being prayed about? Or are they just being tossed out there forgetting that God wants to be involved?

I'm guilty of that very thing. It is good to get our thoughts out... to release what is pent up... to confide in friends. It is REALLY good to talk to God about it. I'm all for sharing our hearts with our friends and being real... I just know that for ME... I want to remember to hang out with the Lord... to seek His counsel and His truth. Sometimes, just talking to Him clears up cloudy thoughts. Sometimes, talking to Him releases anger. Sometimes, talking to Him gives vision and purpose. Sometimes, life is big and hard and it takes LOTS of talking to Him to find the smallest piece of peace.

What about you? Where does your journaling heart go with all of its thoughts?

From tree to table!

2008-09-14T14:42:00.001-05:00

Today I canned my first dozen quarts of pears. Our tree is bursting with ripe fruit that tastes wonderful! Next week we are going to make some pear jam and pear pie! Yum-O!

Nature...a love of mine ~

2008-09-14T14:31:00.001-05:00

Rose of Sharon, in my back yard, on a rainy day ~ love it!

Am I real??? Even here... to the whole world of blog readers?

2008-09-10T11:44:00.001-05:00

Yes. I choose to be real... at least here... on my Jumping Puddles-journal space.

It has been a long time since I have blogged. Life is just crazy busy... and, well... just crazy. I am struggling with a hormone imbalance and it is really knocking me flat. Life is a constant spin. I move in slow motion while my insides are rushing. Tears are a constant companion. Frustration and anger are always hovering, trying to overtake me.

I am currently reading Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. It is a good book for me in this season. The book takes its title from Habakkuk 3:19, "The Lord God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places."

Yes! Amen! I trust Papa... my Lord... to see me through.

The song of my 11 year old

2008-06-26T08:37:00.001-05:00

Elijah wrote this song yesterday and gave me permission to post it here. I found this on his bed.

Jesus, God, The Holy Spirit

Jesus died for me.
He died on the cross,
then he rose again.
Jesus loves you and me,
the Holy Spirit lives in your heart
to make everything easier.
God made everything,
even you and me and
everything we can see.
I have six brothers and sisters
and it is hard to deal with so
the Holy Spirit makes it easier.

He told me that he has 'music' to it in his head but he doesn't like to sing so I haven't heard it. It amazes me that he has an understanding of the Holy Spirit AND that this is what is coming out of his heart.

I asked him about having "six" brothers and sisters as he is one of six. "Should the six be a five?"
He said, "I have a brother or sister in heaven."

I had a miscarriage when Trevor was one...16 years ago! Five years before Elijah was given to us.

Wow. I am continually blown away by my children...their minds and hearts have so many facets.

Suggestible? Expectation? Hope!

2008-06-19T06:58:00.001-05:00

Am I suggestible? Do I accept and act on the suggestions of others? Would it be accurate to say that suggestions could be considered expectations?

I think I have been suggestible.

I think that the suggestions of others are often expectations.

Isn't an expectation a preconceived idea of how things should be done...how 'it' is supposed to be? That sounds like stress; a problem in waiting. It is time to let go of expectations and stop trying to force life into a predetermined mold.

I choose to NOT be suggestible when the suggestion is really an expectation.

As I sit and ponder these things, I realize what I want; have hope for me, not expectation of me.

Hope is non-specific. It gives grace and space...freeing.
Expectation is specific and well defined...controlling.

Today I will choose to have hope for MYSELF and not expectation.

It will be a good day.

It is so good...

2008-06-18T07:50:00.001-05:00

parenting...I love it. Years ago I had theories on parenting.

This is how you do it and

this is how you don't do it and

this is how you certainly never do it and

this sometimes might be OK.

Well, my amazing children are now 17, 12 (almost 13), 11, 9, 9, and 8. All of my 'theories' have been blown out of the water. I have learned that my ideas about how to parent were often judgements of other parents shortcomings. I am learning that how I thought "it would go" and how it really is are two very different things. I have learned that one way of parenting may only fit one of my children.

Being a parent is the greatest joy. My kiddos make me laugh like no one else.

Being a parent is, at the same time, SO difficult. My heart aches, and breaks, over their hurts, their fears, their struggles, their lessons learned from mistakes, etc.

I know that I'll continue learning. Maybe when Ben (8 year old) is 20...I'll understand how to parent. But then again, I'll probably be learning how to GRANDparent.

How far?

2008-06-16T07:24:00.001-05:00

Jesus, you know just how far
The East is from the West
I don’t have to see the man I’ve been
Come rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest

Cause you know just how far the East is from the West
From one scarred hand to the other.

Yesterday is over. Today is new.

New mercy...fresh grace...sufficient for ME, for MY TODAY.

I AM NOT, and I DO NOT, have to be who I was yesterday or last month or last year. Everyday I learn more about who I am and everyday I practice being that person... I don't do it perfectly and that is OK.

I am a FREE, VULNERABLE, COURAGEOUS, woman who is SELF-DISCERNING.

How are you?

2008-06-14T20:51:00.001-05:00

"I'm not answering that question today."

What a great, bold answer to an all too common question.

Married for 35 years and in the midst of a divorce...

"How are you?"

A best friend dies...

"How are you?"

It is completely understandable to "not answer" that question OR to get frustrated. Is it society...have we all just trained each other that we really don't care? Is it that we just don't want to share our heart...possibly cry or say something "wrong?" Do we want others to "have a brain" and realize how we are without asking?

What's up with "how are you?" Do you really want to know? Do I really want to know?

Yes, I do.

Hey...how are you?

from the heart of a wonderful, aching young man...our Trevor

2008-06-07T17:44:00.000-05:00

There are trials in life......all around us.

What do we do during those times?
Well there are two things we could do. What we feel like doing... and what we should do.
What's easier? Well when something hard is going on...it's easier to break down and get depressed and scared and angry and hurt and worried and and and and and.

Since July of last year...I've been going through some pretty hard things. Things that have weakened my relationships at home. Things that have weakened a few relationships with friends. Things that have been 'unhealthy' for me. I want to share a little bit about the two things that have effected me in a negative way more than anything.

First, in July, work started to have a bad effect on my dad. He was getting highly stressed and it was very unhealthy for him. It started getting so bad that he needed to go to the doctor to see what was wrong. The doctor came to the conclusion that my dad was depressed. So he put him on a medicine called Paxil. That's when things got really bad.
Over time, Paxil started to have severe side effects on my dad.
To make a long story short. Paxil severely hurt my dad...and it lasted 6-7months.
Over this period of time...the whole situation hurt me really bad. Mainly because I wanted to know why God was letting everything that was happening....happen. I got angry. Extremely angry. And I started closing myself off from people. I kept everything in. I didn't let anything out. Except maybe to a very few select people. My relationships at home started dwindling. I secluded myself from my family. I would be gone a lot and when I would get home...I'd shut myself in my room. I started doubting myself...and God.
Because of that...I haven't really been the same person that I used to be a year ago.

The other thing is something that's happened very recently. As in, the past 17 days. A friend of mine, also a best friend/sister to some of my very close friends, was in a horrible four-wheeler accident. I'd rather not pull out all of the facts because it's hard enough just typing this up. If you want to know about it, and haven't, you can go to http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/laurengrabham.
For the 16 days she was alive in the hospital, people prayed. Literally thousands of people prayed for her...people all over the United States...and even people in other countries. We were praying for a miracle...I was praying for a miracle. I had so much faith. I was believing. I believed that God was going to provide a miracle. Cause that's what He does. He takes care of us. He provides for us. He gives us happiness. So of course He was going to heal her. Go against IMPOSSIBLE odds...and heal her. People all over the U.S. and the world were praying for her. Having faith...yeah, she was going to come out of it.
She didn't.
Thursday - June 15th - 2008 - 3:15pm - Lauren died in the hospital bed.
She was 15 years old.
When I heard the news that she had passed away. I had an ocean of emotions come over me. Sadness, confusion, passion, anger, rage, even hatred.
She was not supposed to die. She had too much to accomplish. She had so much yet to do.
I started to feel like God just didn't care.
God doesn't listen to us. If He did...then He just isn't a loving god. So either He doesn't listen...or He doesn't care. I just knew it was one of the two. God let Lauren die. He let her go through everything at the hospital...and then just let her die. That sure sounds like a loving, caring, providing, healing god.
Yeah right.
It sounded to me like He didn't care at all. I started feeling like there was no great, healing, caring god.

What an idiot I am.

Yes, Lauren went through a lot.
Yes, Lauren died.
No, it wasn't God's fault.

A horrible accident happened. Lauren was severely hurt.
If Lauren would have lived. She would have continued life...struggling. It would have been very hard for her. In a sense...she probably would have suffered.

Lauren went home. She went to the greatest place she could. She got to go be with her heavenly father. The King of kings, the Lord of lords. Her daddy. She's in heaven rejoicing. Dancing. Singing. Experiencing more than she could have ever imagined. She won. Nothing better could have happened for her. The only negative thing....is now...we hurt.

We're the ones hurting...because...we miss her. We loved, and continue to love her. But she's not here with us...not in a physical sense. We don't get the pleasure of seeing her. Of hearing her. We don't get any of that. We're the ones that are at a loss.

It's ok to be sad. To hurt. To mourn. But not for her sake. Because she's got so much more now. And it hurts to say that. Because after all...she was a friend, a daughter, a sister. 15 years old....
But she's better off now than we are.
Since the moment I got the news, to now. I don't think I've ever cried as much as I have in this time period. It hurts so much.... but that's ok. It's ok to hurt. But I can't be mad at God. I can't lose my faith. Because after all...I was praying for God to heal Lauren physically.

He healed her in every way possible and impossible.
She's perfect now.
That's healing.

So I say all of that to say....there are trials. We constantly go through a trial. What do we do?
Do we freak out and challenge our faith?
Or do we trust that God will take care?

That's all.

Nim's Island tagline

2008-06-05T12:46:00.000-05:00

'Be the hero of your own story.'

We all have a life story...isn't it time to take care of you and be your own hero?

summer fun

2008-05-30T18:51:00.001-05:00

Wednesday is 'ferPenBaPins' swim day at our house. The Shea'fer', 'Pen'nel, 'Ba'y, 'Pi'ne, and Steve'ns' all get together to play in the pool.

Ben the fish! He is a great swimmer.

Caden has learned that the pool is so fun!

Who I Am...truth!

2008-05-29T07:34:00.000-05:00

When I called to the Lord, He answered me;
He made me bold and stouthearted. Psalm 138: 3 (Jen's paraphrase)

Bold: confident, adventurous, free!
Stouthearted: having a stout heart or spirit: courageous!
Stout: strong of character
Heart: one's innermost character, feelings, or inclinations

I am confident, adventurous, free, courageous, and strong in my innermost character, feelings, and inclinations!

The Life and Times....

2008-05-29T06:42:00.000-05:00

of the Sheafer Eight!

My husband and I have six children and we home school all of them. It is the season for the pool and play but I want to keep the momentum going! Thus, school does continue. The goal? Complete school work before noon, including reading. This keeps the entire afternoon free for swimming, playing, lounging, etc. We have a pool in our back yard and this is a great motivator for getting 'stuff' done. I look forward to listening to my kiddos read, watching the light bulbs go off in their heads when they 'get' the new math problem, and shuffling through all the teacher papers to grade their worksheets. How great is my life!!!

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I am in the season of RE-ARRANGE, RE-ORGANIZE, and RE-ADJUST. I'm working on my 'Life Notebook' and becoming a diligent homemaker/wife/mother. School planning, menu planning, grocery planning, household chores, laundry, errands, library...clean the front porch, clean the back porch...brush my teeth?!?!?! Are you kidding? How am I supposed to get all of this done?

Life Notebook!

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Schatzie got into the trash last night. Ugh. She hasn't done this is a long time. My friend, Tracy, told me to put Schatzie IN the trashcan and then laugh at her. Tracy said the humiliation would keep her from doing it again. Well, I did that. It worked! But the tiny chicken scraps (that should have been taken out LAST NIGHT!) were more than little poochy could handle. I'm wondering if another trashcan laugh is in order???

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The birds are singing. The house is quiet. The children are all sleeping. Chris has gone to work. It is a quiet time. I'm off to chat with Papa. Have a blessed day!

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There ya go. I look into The Life and Times....

Crush

2008-05-28T21:16:00.000-05:00

The newest addition to our family...Crush the bearded dragon. Our friends, Chris and Shawn Bay, were his previous owners and they passed him on to us. Very cool!

Schatzie

2008-05-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

Our dear friend, Carrol, took this picture of our little pooch. Schatzie is our spoiled dachshund. She is one and a half and we hope to breed her in October. She is a tiny thing, only about seven pounds, and we will be breeding her with a chihuahua to create precious chiweenies (aka Mexican Hot Dogs).

A Daily Examen

2008-05-22T08:06:00.000-05:00

St. Ignatius Loyola consistently spoke of the value of this spiritual exercise for all believers everywhere. He believed that he received a gift from God that not only enriched his own Christian life but was meant to be shared with others. The gift was a "method," a way to seek and find God in all things and to gain the freedom to let God's will be done on earth. This way of praying allowed Ignatius to discover the voice of God within his own heart and to experience a growth in familiarity with God's will. Jesuits call this prayer their daily examen of consciousness.

1. Thanksgiving: Lord, I realize that all, even myself, is a gift from you.
- Today, for what things am I most grateful?

2. Intention: Lord, open my eyes and ears to be more honest with myself.
- Today, what do I really want for myself?

3. Examination: Lord, show me what has been happening to me and in me this day.
- Today, in what ways have I experienced your love?

4. Contrition: Lord, I am still learning to grow in your love.
- Today, what choices have been inadequate responses to your love?

5. Hope: Lord, let me look with longing toward the future.
- Today, how will I let you lead me to a brighter tomorrow?

What surprised me today?
What inspired me today?
What was life-giving today?
What was life-taking today?
What did I learn about myself today?
What did I discover about God's grace today?

Family Fun

2008-05-15T09:20:00.000-05:00

We are a family who loves nature and being outside. My husband and I have hiked in the Appalachian Mountains, the Rocky Mountains, and my ideal vacation isn't a fancy resort or a cruise ship... it is a cabin in the woods and hiking trails close by.

That ideal vacation is not reality for us right now, but we have a great home and lots of walking trails. Something we have discovered to really utilize the walking trails and parks in our area is letterboxing.

Letterboxing is an intriguing “treasure hunt” style outdoor activity. Letterboxers hide small, weatherproof boxes in publicly-accessible places (like parks) and post clues to finding the box online on one of several Web sites. However, clues to finding some of the most highly-sought boxes are passed around by word of mouth. There are about 20,000 letterboxes hidden in North America alone. Individual letterboxes usually contain a log book, an often hand-carved rubber stamp and may contain an ink pad. Finders make an imprint of the letterbox's stamp on their personal log book, and leave an imprint of their personal stamp on the letterbox's logbook . (from Letterboxing.org)

We are getting ready to begin our season of letterboxing and, for the first time, we are going to hide one of our own. Why don't you join us? Visit www.letterboxing.org for more info.

The Rest of God

2008-05-14T18:54:00.000-05:00

~ Restoring Your Soul by Restoring Sabbath ~

"If I only had more time," is the mantra of our age. But is this the real problem? Author Mark Buchanan states that what we really need is "the rest of God - the rest God bestows and, with it, that part of Himself we can know only through stillness."

This book seeks to help us receive anew the gift of Sabbath, this day of rest and play and replenishment.

This is what I am currently reading. I'll let you know all about it!

Play

2008-05-13T20:26:00.000-05:00

Don't Forget to Play

We're talking about real play: the kind that's spontaneous, unscripted, and has no purpose other than pure enjoyment. "When you play spontaneously, you begin to discover that there's a whole other dimension to life that has nothing to do with tasks or being right or wrong."

~ from an article in Family Fun magazine

Today is...

2008-05-07T07:39:00.000-05:00

the day that the Lord has made.

Emotions are on high, the house is a wreck, the humid air makes everything feel damp to match my mental state.

Yet I will praise my God...Papa. He is in my midst. I choose to live by the truth of who I am in Him and not by my emotions.

Just typing that makes my heart feel lighter and the damp not quite so damp. Amazing how a truth can free you in less than a minute.

It is joy unspeakable and full of glory!
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/j/o/joyunspk.htm

Changing

2008-05-04T21:04:00.000-05:00

"I love how God has been changing me one small bit at a time. Sometimes I don't even notice He's doing that until I'm in a situation and I watch myself respond in ways I never would have before. I'm enjoying immensely the {Jen} He is allowing to emerge."

~ from So You Don't Want to go to Church Anymore by Jake Colsen

A Prayer

2008-05-03T21:34:00.000-05:00

Papa God, help us to comprehend your love - it surpasses, GOES BEYOND, our knowledge! Without a revelation from You, we won't get it... we won't understand it. I'm excited! I trust You and I know You hear me and You act on my behalf. You want us to know and experience Your love. Thank you!

Freedom

2008-04-18T10:37:00.000-05:00

The truth shall set you free and the truth has a name: Jesus. Everything is about Him and freedom is a process that happens inside a relationship with Him...

~ from The Shack by William P. Young

Thoughts and a prayer ~ Friends

2008-04-15T07:05:00.000-05:00

Friendship
Friendship should never be taken for granted. Jesus calls you His friend, and He is a Friend that sticks closer than a brother. Throughout your life He sends different people to you. Some are friends for a season. God sends them to meet a special need, or for you to meet a special need for them, and then you move off in different directions. Others remain friends throughout life. God sends friends who share your disappointments, your hopes, your highs your lows. They see your faults and love you anyway. You learn to resolve conflict, trust one another. You become iron sharpening iron; helping each other grow in character, and in the love of God. God uses friendship to shape and mold us: If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin (1 John 1:7).

PRAYER:
Father, I thank You for my friends. We are kind to one another, speaking words of grace into each other’s lives. We are there to laugh and cry together; we trust each other, encouraging one another in the Lord. We confess our faults to one another and pray for one another that we may be healed and restored to a spiritual tone of mind and heart. Thank You Jesus for teaching me how to be a good friend. Amen.

Scripture Reading
Proverbs 17:17; Proverbs 18:24; John 17:13-14; James 5:16

~ daily prayer by Germaine Copeland